So maybe Thanksgiving has Turkey and Christmas has presents but Halloween has been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember. There is something about any holiday that makes tubes of fake blood and plastic Freddy Krueger gloves commercially available that just does my soul good. I love to look at the window at the legions of little goblins, ghosts and Darth Vaders and furthermore I like to contribute copious amounts of sugary substances to their treat bags. Here are a few simple guidlines to assure that your holiday is a safe one.

1. Adhere to the five second rule. There are plenty of treats readily available this season so if you drop one you were about to consume on the floor make sure it’s been on the ground no more than the standard five seconds (which is the magic number that is scientifically proven to keep your treats cootie free)

2. Stop Drop and Roll (it’s not just for flames anymore)

3. Black Ghost may have seemed like a pretty cool costume idea when you thought of it but it isn’t (try reflective day glow ghost it’s never been done and you’ll be a trailblazer)

4. Those black and orange peanut butter taffy things…don’t eat them. Their very existence is just some sort of a cruel joke. Ick man just ick.

5. In the words of Tom Waits “never trust a man in a blue trenchcoat, never drive a car when you’re dead”

So there we have it. Follow those simple guidelines and make sure to keep plenty of horror films in constant rotation and you’ll have the best Halloween ever. From all of us here at the Doc Channel happy Halloween! Now i’m off to see Saw III again. Carve a pumpkin and sugar myself into a small coma. God bless this great nation. Hope the Great Pumpkin pays me a visit.